joy in my life

I feel like a fake. Like I don’t have a personality. And depending on who i’m with I just pretend to be something i’m not. But that makes me wonder who I am and what i’m really like. Without all the bullshit.

An old thought

I can’t stand here
and watch this again
go through the same hurt
that someone else showed me
your words express feelings that you don’t show
I need you to show them
if you can’t
don’t make me watch and wait
like those who came before
you’re better than that
I want this
do you?

I see the potential in people
not what they are but what they could be
I see the good in people
even if its scarce, those moments catch my eye
I trust people
even when they don’t have the best track record

I’m in a relationship with someone just because its comfortable and so i’m not alone. The thing is, i’m miserable. He’s not even in the same state as me. I feel just as alone. And there’s someone that I wish I could be with but he’s not available… I want him so bad. He’s probably no good for me but I can’t help it. The person i’m with will treat me like a gem… But I can’t help but want this other guy…